Truth Tuesday - I didn’t want to but I did anyways

Tonight after supper I spent two hours decluttering and reorganizing my en-suite bathroom and throwing out half the junk that has been in there for years. After finishing the bathroom I got the two littles to bed and then as I was in my bathroom about to get ready for bed myself, James came in to see me. He picked up my phone from the dresser and said “hey mom, can I take a selfie of us?“ In that moment all I wanted to do was say no....I felt frazzled, tired, and just plain cranky and awful. My hair was frizzy, the bags under my eyes are big and dark and I just didn’t want to say yes, but then I realized that these days where he wants to have his photo taken with me are probably coming to an end in the near future so....I took the picture.

Is it the best picture of us? Not even close. But do I love it just the same because he asked me for it? Absolutely yes!

As I am making positive changes in my life I’m trying to see myself the way my kids see me. It’s not easy for me and I struggle especially to see the beautiful woman that they see me as. I’ve always felt very plain Jane and have never been viewed or commented on as a pretty girl. Earlier tonight Jordie grabbed my phone and asked me if he could take a picture of me by myself but again I was feeling tired and haggard and not very picture worthy so I said no. His reply to that was “but mom, I always think you look like the prettiest lady in the world” My heart melted and I told him that was nice of him to say, and now reflecting back on that moment, I wish I had said yes to letting him take my photo. When James asked me a short bit later about taking a selfie together I realized how important it was to take the photos that they ask me to take because in that moment they are trying to connect with me and they are seeing my worth far more than I can. I always love when I learn something new from these beautiful little humans I created. I am such a lucky mama to have them and I do know how lucky they are to have me too. I have my downfalls for sure but they will NEVER grow up wondering how I feel about them. They have always known, and will always know, how much I love them and will always have their backs!