One of the saddest things I've ever lived through

One week ago today this amazing, funny-as-hell, loving and caring lady took her last breath on this Earth and I couldn't have been more honored to have been welcomed to be there with her at the end.

Barb came into my life at the age of 10 and participated as an active co-parent, long after she and Wayne separated 17 years ago, and right up until she passed away. She never called me her step-daughter and would in fact get quite upset if any of us kids referred to each other as step-siblings. In her heart my brothers and I were hers just as much as her own three children were.

I loved her and she loved me, and I never once questioned that in my life. She loved me through the teenage years when I was flaky and totally boy crazy (and boy did she tease me and Mel for it!), through the hard years after her divorce from my dad, and the years we went between seeing each other. She celebrated our victories and shared in our heartbreaks and worries too. She traveled to PR for my wedding almost 11 years ago and did get to meet all 3 of my babies over the years.

My brothers and I were very fortunate to have her in our lives. She remained steadfast in her love for us no matter the circumstances. She helped us through some hard years where we struggled in our relationships with our dad and was always a listening ear when we needed her. I think the most special thing I can mention though about my Mom #2 (this was how she signed every single card to me ever) was the bond that she formed with my Mom #1 over the years. It was truly one that I believe all blended families should aspire to have. In the years since Barb & Wayne's divorce my mom and Barb have remained very close and I know my parents are mourning her loss right along with all of us. In the blog post I'm working on about her life and our relationship with her I will talk more about this special bond that my two mom's shared and how it is has impacted the lives of me and all 3 of my brothers.

I'm so sad for us that she's gone but so happy for her that she is no longer in pain and is at peace where she is. For the final year of her life she told us that she was ready to go when it was her time and I'm so glad that when that time came that it was relatively fast, painless and extremely peaceful. It was exactly how she had wanted it to go. She waited until all of her kids had been there to say goodbye and within hours of Joe arriving she took her last breath last Wednesday morning. I feel fortunate that I got some of her last lucid moments and even got some smiles, along with some cherished and mumbled "I love you's". I will always be so grateful that I made it there in time for her to recognize me and know I was there loving and supporting her through her final journey. Without the support of my mom and dad and Jim taking care of the kids while I was gone I never would have been able to be there. It takes a village to raise kids and a huge commitment from those around me to tell me to just go and be there. I know my mom wished she should could be there with us too, but also knew how much I needed her help with the kids in order for me to be free to go. I truly believe that Barb was grateful to her in the end as well.

RIP to my wonderful Mom #2. I will miss you and will always remember you.

Save-On Store #949 - Where the story of Jimbo & Kimbo began

This store right here is where the love story of me and Jimmy began.

 

Back in 2002 this store began an extensive renovation to go from an Overwaitea Foods to a Save-On. I was hired to work at the deli when the reno was just ending and the new staff was being hired. Jim had worked at the store since 1998 and was lovingly known and referred to as Jimbo...he even had a name tag with that name on it!

 

Just a few days after our most recent visit to Nanaimo in early January we found out through some old Save-On friends on FB that this store was sadly being closed, and our friends would be transferring stores throughout the island or offered buy-outs. When we found out that the store would be closing on February 5, long before our next visit we were sad that we had not stopped in there on our visit. It was very rare for us to go to Nanaimo and not stop in there to say hello to whoever was there that did actually still remember us! 

 

Here is the deli, on the closing day. So many great memories I have of working in there...and of falling in love with Jimmy there too. Many times when we were supposed to be working we would find reasons to wander over to each others side of the store. I worked there from the fall of 2002, through my 10 months of school at VIU, and right up until I started my job at the health unit in the summer of 2004. I hated being called Kimbo but once we became a couple it just became inevitable. Some of my funniest memories include paging back and forth together "Jimbo, call the deli" or "Kimbo, call dairy". Oh to be young and falling in love again!

Here is an old photo that our friend Sharon posted on FB the other day. This was Jimmy in his dairy aisle back in the day. For most of the 2 years that Jim worked at the store once we got together he worked in this department, usually working from 7:00 - 3:30.

 

Apart from a few drunken bar photos that are hiding downstairs in our photo albums, this is the first photo that I remember having of us together. This was taken in November of 2003 when we came to Powell River to visit the first time, which also happened to be Jim's birthday weekend. We had a joint party for him and my childhood friend Diana.

 

 Another one posted by Sharon...I'm pretty sure this was taken at a very late Christmas party for the store that was held much closer to Valentine's Day! This would have been in early 2004 just a few weeks after we moved into our first place together...although we joke that we never lived apart after the day that we got together (he just never really went home again!). I lived on my own in a little 1-bedroom place right across the street from the store which was way more convenient than being at his dad's trailer in Harewood!

 

And now here we are, fast forward 12 years from when I started at Save-On and coming up on our anniversary in the summer. On the day of the store closing we pulled out our old Save-On uniforms and took some photos for fun, and to post to the 949ers group on FB. I wish we could have been there for the party they all had but did enjoy the comments some of our old coworkers left on our photo on the page! We'll always remember store 949 with love and good memories and wish all of our old co-workers success and happiness in their new stores or life paths. 

Saying Goodbye to Grandma Tracy

Those that have been reading this blog for awhile or those that know us will know that Jim's mom Tracy passed away on Easter Sunday of last year, less than two months before the birth of her newest grandson, Jordan Douglas. She was so very excited to be a grandma again and absolutely adored James. She would have been very happy to know that Jordan's middle name was chosen out of the utmost of love and respect for her late father and Jim's amazing grandfather Doug. 

I did a blog post about her passing and one that was filled of photos of her life in the month after her death and have looked back on both of those posts many times since.

Anyone who knows me knows that Tracy and I were never close, and only in the previous few years had I spent any real time with her. She lived a troubled life and I often found it difficult to communicate and relate to her but I was so proud of the changes she had made in the few months before her death. She had made a choice to get sober and had made a commitment to herself and to Jim and she had stuck to it. The day she phoned to tell Jim of her new life I will never forget the extreme pride and pure joy on my husbands face. We were so excited to see the new Tracy, but sadly she died before we got the chance to do so. 

Jim and Tom wanted to wait to spread her ashes until the spring following her passing and with Jim's new job taking him away for much of the time, a date was chosen over a year later, on June 22. 

We headed to Nanaimo with plans to spread Tracy's ashes on a bridge around Westwood Lake where we had gathered almost 6 years before to spread her father Doug's ashes. We met Tom, the boy's Grandma, Auntie Bonnie, Bonnie's husband Greg, Jim's cousins Cody, and Dayna and Dayna's two boys and started the walk to the bridge only to discover that the water wasn't flowing enough to do it there. A new plan was made to head out to this beautiful spot Tommy knew about somewhere near Lantville. So we headed off in a caravan and met there a little bit later.

Tommy was right, this spot was beautiful and I think in the end it turned out to be absolutely perfect. I didn't expect to feel emotional but there was something about all of us being together in the water, with the tide slowly coming in, a beautiful bird next to us and the flowers floating towards us that we left for her that I found extremely peaceful and full of love and life. For many many years Tracy may not have had a lot to give to those around her other than her love, but she always did so, completely and freely. 

On that day, surrounded by the people that loved and supported her most in the world, I know her spirit was felt by all of us there as we said goodbye to her.

RIP Grandma Tracy