Sunday Self-Reflections - Part 3

The concept of being enough and feeling like you are enough is a strange concept to grasp sometimes. For me it is closely tied with my self esteem and self confidence in every aspect of my life. I often struggle with feeling like I am not enough to everyone who wants/needs me. 

Some days I feel like I am rocking this crazy chaotic life that I've created for myself, and then other days I just feel like I'm failing everyone and everything. I know in my heart that that is far from the case and I would say that almost everyone around me would say that I haven't let them down and am always there when I'm needed. But, in saying that sometimes by always being there for others, I'm not there for myself in the most positive ways that I need to be. This is the new balance I'm trying desperately to reach by making and taking the time for me, without feeling the guilt that I should be doing something for someone else instead. It's asking for help when I need it and then not feeling guilty for asking for what I need. 

This meme spoke to me when I saw it on Pinterest and wanted to share my thoughts on it. I like these little reminders that I am always enough, and that my best on any given day is better than not trying at all. I get up every day and try. Sometimes I do awesome, and other days I just barely survive the day, but I still try. Trying is what is most important to me. And being reminded, even by a silly post like this, is enough for me to feel more positive about myself. It's a great reminder for everyone to see. 

Sunday Self-Reflections - Part 1

Happy Sunday everyone! 

Considering I've only been up for half an hour and all I've accomplished so far is drinking a cup of yummy tea made by my Jordie boy...all I can really thank my body for so far today is getting up and walking down the stairs! 

On a daily basis my body does a lot for me and even though I have the aches and pains of getting older, and I live with a chronic disease (which thankfully is mostly in remission), I'm overall a pretty healthy person. I know I could lose a few pounds but at this point in my life I'm more concerned with just getting moving and getting more active than I've been in the past 10 years since having kids. I've always struggled to make the time for me and have lived a pretty sedentary life. But that's all changed in the last month and I'm committed to a new life. 

I'm proud of my body (and mind) for allowing me to start practicing yoga. For years I've wanted to try it but was always afraid I wouldn't be able to do it. What I've learned is that it's all about my own practice and doing what I can do, and trying hard not to worry about what others around me in the class can do that I can't do....yet! I'm in it and ready for it to be a forever thing for me. Whether that's classes at Coast, or home practice from YouTube, I'm committed and devoted to it. I'd love to add in walking more and maybe eventually some sort of weight lifting classes too but for now I have to start with what feels manageable for where I'm at in my life, and for now this is it. 

When I read this quote below the one thing I am most proud that my body has done for me is to create the lives of my three tiny humans. I' won't say I loved all parts of pregnancy but I was honored and blessed to be able to do it 3 times, with some bumps along the way, and a very scary complication the last time that made me fear for my life every day for the last 4 months of my pregnancy. I have always felt for those woman that couldn't have children and without a doubt if we had decided to stop at 2 kids, I would have pursued surrogacy in order to give someone the blessing of being a parent. It is truly the best and most rewarding thing I've ever done in my life and when I look back on my experiences and what I was able to accomplish I'm proud of myself for getting through 27 months of growing tiny humans!

As for today....today my body is going to be very busy! After I hit publish on this post I'm getting going for the day. First up is breakfast, strata office work, then house cleaning, then making family Sunday dinner! Oh and the piles of laundry I have to get through too! I'd love to sneak in a quick walk too but we'll see how that goes for me with the craziness that lies ahead :) 

Sunday Self-Reflection

 I attended my first Yoga Nidra workshop on Friday night and I felt like I really connected with it. The amazing instructor Kelly talked about sankalpa and what it means and how to live it in your life. It spoke to me as I’m trying hard to make some positive changes in my life and without making actual resolutions (as those never seem to work for me), I'm just trying to open myself up to trying harder than I have in previous years, at things that seem really hard for me (for a variety of bullshit reasons).

One of the biggest changes I'm hoping to make this year is just becoming more active, with both yoga and just simply moving more. Whether that's walking, or swimming or skating with the kids. Just doing more than sitting on my butt.

Last week was the start for me and I did 2 hot yoga classes, and then a friend mentioned she was doing the workshop so at the last minute I decided to join it too. I figured if Jim was home and was able to be with the kids then I'd take the chance and do it...and I'm so glad I did.

So my simple Sankalpa is just this - take more time for me. 

I have to realize that that comes in various different things, whether that's going upstairs to have a bath alone, go for a short walk around the block, or taking the hour to go and do the yoga class. I have to start realizing that I matter too and I am hoping once I get more familiar with being okay with not always being last then maybe the tides will shift for me in a lot of different areas of my life.