Friday, July 19, 2019


Just going to leave this here because it resonates with me, and maybe does with you too? Other moms who can be vulnerable and admit their true feelings about motherhood are really my kind of people, whether their true feelings mirror mine or not. 

I know that not all moms struggle as hard as others do but I do think a lot of us silently struggle for fear of being judged if we admit how hard it really is. I know I have hesitated in the past to really talk too much about it, but whenever I do I get a feeling of solidarity from my fellow village of moms that this isn't easy, but it's the best job they've ever had. 

Truth: I love my kids more than anything else in the whole world.
Also my truth: Some days they drive me completely bat shit crazy and some days I just want to run away from them!

Thursday, July 18, 2019

My poor neglected blog

Just cause I haven't done a post yet this month I'll leave this one here just to say there has been at least one :)

This little monster just wanted to try on a ball uniform last night. Doesn't she look so crazy cute?

Where did my baby go? She looks like such a big girl now :( 

Tuesday, June 25, 2019

His little heart is just the cutest

I was rushing around like a crazy woman the other day (now I can't even remember why or what I was doing), and all of a sudden I noticed the noise level in my house was reduced by one and Jordie was downstairs by himself. A few minutes later he came up and told me he had made something for me. Out came this love note and I was so very touched by it.

It makes me realize once again that no matter how much I feel like I am failing them daily in a variety of ways, in their hearts they KNOW how much I love them and they love me just for being me. I couldn't ask for anything more in my life.

Monday, June 24, 2019

A new first in the Barrows house - Jordie lost his first tooth!

He was so excited and scared at the same time! It had been wiggly for a few weeks and was bugging him every time he ate and he was whining about it. We had tried to pull it for a few days when finally on the weekend I told him that if he went to the dentist on Tuesday and it was still hanging on that they would probably just pull it. He's not a huge fan of the dentist so I was pretty sure this would be the thing that would get him to the final place where he was really ready for it to come out. He has tiny little teeth too and I couldn't grab it so I used the old toilet paper trick and it popped out super easy. He was SO excited and couldn't wait for the tooth fairy to come. BUT, of course worst mother in the world here...I had no money in my wallet that night! the tooth fairy forgot one night and then made up for it the next night.

Reading his note from the Tooth Fairy! I'm so impressed with his reading skills already at the end of Kindergarten!

 Pretty excited to get $10 for his first tooth! 

NOTE: This happened a few weeks ago but it's been absolutely ridiculous for us with work, school, baseball, etc so I'm just getting to finishing the blog post now! Didn't want to not record this momentous occasion with a post so I'm doing it late!

Thursday, June 6, 2019

Throwback Thursday - The 2 year old Jordie edition

Today on my FB memories I had a bunch of toddler Jordie photos show up, so I decided to do a throwback Thursday post about this special little man.

The biggest thing I remember about Jordie at 2 was how little he talked but how loud he still was despite that. He was a grunter and yeller and a doer. He didn't ask for anything, he just did it himself. He knew how to communicate and get what he needed but didn't feel the need to communicate with us. It drove me crazy and I longed for him to talk, now I long for the quiet once again :)

Not only was he not talking like other kids his age....he was MASSIVE in size too! He was the same size at 2 that I think James was at 3. He was a solid little guy for sure and he played hard and loved hard. 

After a 4 hour play outside he came in and just crashed. Another thing about Jordie was that he LOVES his SLEEP! He was and still is by far my best sleeper. OMG his chubby cheeks and belly in this picture just kill me.

An evening playdate and visit with Auntie Theresa and Kaleb in Nana and Papa's backyard while we were house sitting for one of their vacations. 

The other day I shared videos of both James and Kennedy and how much they were talking at 2! Here is a video at the exact same age as them and he was just starting to make any legible sounds. He was quite delayed in his speech and didn't start really talking until he was much closer to 3. 

Another favorite video from about 6 months later

Here he is a big closer to 3

And just because he was so cute and looks so much like his is a newborn photo of Jordie too.

Wednesday, June 5, 2019

Meaningful Quotes and my personal thoughts

A bit of a different post from me. I was thinking about different quotes in my life and decided to share some that I found with a few personal thoughts and photos to go along with them.

* I love this and whole-heartedly believe it. The people I love in my life mean everything to me and the memories I have made and continue to make with them are always life changing. From the days before kids, to the friends that we are raising our kids with, and to those friends that I've just met who I want to get to know better. My heart is open and accepting of any and all life experiences coming my way and I look forward to seeing where my life is in 5 years time. I hope it's only bigger and better than it is right now.

* I take immense pride and joy in the family that Jim and I have grown together and in the rare moments in this very busy season of life when we do all sit down to eat together or just be together I am in awe of the everything we have built together. I remember my childhood mostly from around the age of 10 or so onwards and the life that I had with my mom after my parents divorced. There was so much love and affection, and enough discipline to keep me the good kid that they raised me to be. I hope and pray that my kids are as good to me as I was to my mom. I know I wasn't perfect but when I hear the horror stories of how some kids act today I am more and more determined to raise my kids right! 

* These three will ALWAYS know how much I love them, just like I always knew with my Mama. When I left for university my friends there made fun of me for calling home ever single day. They didn't understand the bond that I had (and still have) with my Mom. I called her every day, even just for 5 minutes, just to hear her say I love you. I hope my kids feel the same way when they are older that I do now. That I am always there for them and they can depend on me for that, no matter what the circumstance is. 

* There is no one on this Earth that I want to be more like. She has loved me through everything, the ups and downs, the hormones, the college years, the new relationships, the pregnancies, the babies, the toddlers and now she's supporting me through the toughest job in the world, mothering 3 kids! She doesn't always agree with me and I am okay with that. We fight sometimes, but we always make up and try to see where the other is coming from. We love each other fiercely and are proud of the relationship that we have together. 

This is probably still my all time favorite photo of us, taken after James's 1st birthday party!

* I am definitely in full on hot mess mom mode these days. I try to look nice, but most days I'm just barely hanging on and putting makeup on and doing my hair nice just doesn't happen. Maybe in another few years when there are no more toddlers in my home then this will happen once again :)

* I think this is the hardest one for me to write about. I've had some great friends throughout my life, and have loved them all for so many different reasons. I've noticed a shift in the past few years though that has found some of those friends just not super interested in being close friends with me anymore...and it hurts like hell. I try to put as much into my friendships as I can and I really hope for the same in return, but I'm realizing as I get older that sometimes that just isn't going to happen. Sometimes our friends, even those we are closest with, can become friends with other people that they just seem to click with better, and then we can sometimes be left feeling deserted. Not by intention, just by circumstances in life. People's lives change and those that they desire to be close to changes and that's just part of life. I've had lots of close friends over the years that we've just grown apart over the years due to distance and time, but they still hold a special place in my life forever. 

* A few years ago I decided that I really only wanted to be friends with people that really want to be friends with me. I want to make the effort with people that want to make the effort with me. I want to be friends with people who like the same things, love my kids and me, and will allow me to love them and their kids too. I've learned that it's better to have a small group of good friends than a large group of fake friends. 

* I can easily admit that my own insecurities in life play a factor in this quote feeling personal to me. I often am left in my life wondering where I stand with some people and I am never quite sure what to make of those feelings. I know how fortunate I am to be surrounded by so much wonderfulness in my life though that I try really hard to not focus on this much, but I'm still human and can admit that it does enter my thought process sometimes in certain situations. 

Now to finish off this post on a positive are two perfect quotes that sum up my life completely! I am happier and more fulfilled than I ever thought would be possible. When I envisioned my life before I had my kids I had NO IDEA of the wonderful things that we would do and the kids that we would have and the memories that we would make. I am so lucky and I know it.