Tuesday, July 25, 2023

Just wear the bikini

I am 42 years old and I've finally done it and I'm damn proud of myself. I finally got comfortable enough with my body insecurities and put on a damn bikini! This was the year that I just decided to do it and I'm glad I did.

While I don't always love the image I see of myself in the mirror, I am content and proud of the body that I am living in. This body deals with a chronic illness that has good days and bad, it grew and birthed 3 tiny humans, had 5 open abdomen surgeries (appendectomy, bowel resection, 2 lower c-sections and 1 large belly button to pubic bone c-section/hysterectomy) and has been my comfort and support through many weight gains and losses. It is stronger than it's ever been and genuinely loves and craves physical activity.

The me of 5 years ago never would have felt that a daily walk was an important part of my routine, the me now rarely goes a day without a walk. I live a very busy life, so sometimes all I can manage in a day is 15-20 minutes, but other days I find or make the time to do an hour and I love it. I take what time I can for myself because I've realized how much of a positive impact it has had on my mental and physical health in the 2+ years that I've been walking regularly. When I think back to all of the years that I had small kids, I do wish that I'd had the motivation that I do now as I bet my body would be much healthier and fitter than it is now. But I don't live with the regret, I just live in gratefulness that I've adopted a much healthier lifestyle now than I had for all of those years. It took me till I was almost 40 to realize that I didn't want to wake up at 60 still sitting on my couch every day doing nothing! 





Whew...I took a lot of deep breaths as I added these photos and while I don't love them and could pick them apart if I tried, I'm not going to. I'm going to hit publish proudly and have these memories to look back on forever!

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