With Baby #2's arrival coming any day now I thought I would try to get a few pregnancy focused blogs done that I can then move into a photobook that I am hoping to also get working on. Just a couple of questions I've been thinking of that I want to remember in the years to come.
What I will miss: The kicking and moving of baby, watching Jim and James talk to my belly, seeing James help Dr. Naude at our appointments, knowing I was growing another human being and wondering what the baby's gender is, sharing this amazing experience with close friends, being a family of three, giving James my undivided attention, having Jim rub my feet almost every night, wearing comfy maternity clothes.
What I will not miss: greasy hair, heartburn, nausea, forgetfulness, clumsiness, being warm/hot all the time, sciatic pain, being so big that even my maternity clothes are no longer comfortably, having to pee CONSTANTLY!
The best parts about being a second time mom instead of a first time mom: knowing the love that I will feel for this child, feeling more confident in my pregnancy and not worrying as much about things, being able to look forward to the stages of baby/childhood that I loved with James, knowing how fast time flies and doing everything I can to remember and commemorate our family's memories.
The worst parts about being a second time mom instead of a first time mom: knowing what is coming and how hard having a newborn is (and that was without a 3 year old to chase after too!). The naivete that comes with first time parenthood is kind of nice!
The emotional differences between the two pregnancies: in my first pregnancy I remember feeling angry, cranky and moody a lot of the time and wondering if this was normal. This time I've felt much more emotional like all I want to do is cry. I'm sure some of that has to do with the fact that now I'm already a mom so I feel more emotional wondering how having another baby will not only affect myself and Jim but of course James too. Last time I was very nervous about how our life would change and this time I don't worry about that nearly as much as I worry about how baby will arrive (VBAC or elective repeat c-section). I'm sure I am in for my fair share of surprises with what life with 2 will be like but I'm looking forward to taking on the challenge!
The physical differences between the two pregnancies: I always tell people and I truly mean it...this pregnancy has been 100x better than my first one was! I didn't hate being pregnant last time as it did have some good points and a great end result, but this one has been a walk in the park in comparison! Maybe it's because this time my body knew what it was doing, or that I had another kid to look after and think about but either way I appreciate it greatly. Last time I was so nauseaus from pretty much 6 weeks till 22 weeks, this time I was only on Diclectin from 6-10 weeks. After that I legitimately felt better and although I think I was more tired this time (again, think toddler!), just not having the raging daily heartburn has made this 9 months considerably more enjoyable. Last time I started out my pregnancy just more than 15 lbs heavier than this time which I think contributed to the horrible hip and back pain I experienced. When I got pregnant this time I was not only weight wise smaller but was also in much better shape from using the treadmill before my friends July wedding. The only physical pain I've experienced this time is some sciatic pain around the middle of my pregnancy and some sore and swollen feet in the last 6-8 weeks.
My thoughts on whether this is or isn't our last baby: I honestly don't know at this point whether we will have one last child. I would like to say that if it's a girl we'll be done, but I'm not even completely sure about that. I have always dreamed about having 3 kids as I'm one of 3, and I know that even though Jim and I are a great team and could do 3 kids, I just don't know if financially it is a great family decision. If we do have a third I'm pretty sure it will be another 3 years from now because I am loving the age that James is at now and think the age difference between the two will be wonderful. I also dream of what being a surrogate mother would be like and still have hopes of looking at pursuing this if/when we decide our own family is complete. Either way I know we won't be making any permanent decisions for at least a few years. Although I'm not getting any younger, I certainly don't feel like in another couple years I'll be TOO old to have a third if we do choose to do so. Sometimes when I look at James I think to myself "am I really okay with only ever doing this 1 more time?" which leads me to believe that until I am at that stage again and sometimes pulling my hair out that I will really know whether I am able to say yes to that question.
A recent video of Baby #2 moving around in my belly a few weeks ago. I can't believe that in just a few days I may never feel a baby moving inside of me again!
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