I know my heart is in the right place and that's what matters the most

First off, YES those are extra kids in my house that are not residents of our home. Secondly, NO we are not having play dates just for fun and to ease the boredom. Thirdly, YES I very much know and RESPECT the recommendations that we are to self-isolate and not be around anyone who doesn't reside with us, however, in our world that just doesn't work for every circumstance. Jim's job on Texada is still operating and up until early next week I have still been going into the office most days to work while Jim has been home from work on holidays and in the mornings. 

After VIU's year end next week, I am extremely fortunate that for the foreseeable future I am going to be working from home, which means that I am able to still continue with watching kids while I'm home with my own 3. 

 I have been watching Hads and Kins for almost 3 years now and Katelyn and Tye for around the past 6-8 months. Both sets of kids mom's are essential service workers (nurses) and K&T's dad is a small business owner. PLEASE know that I understand that this is NOT a choice that everyone would make, but it is a choice that Jim and I have made and we feel comfortable and totally at peace with it. 

I love all 4 of these extra kids (and any of the other extras that we may end up with down the road) and not for a SECOND when I heard that schools were closing did it cross my mind that I would back out on any of them now. It's just not who I am.The work their parents are doing is invaluable to our community and I so respect the position that they are in with needing to work and run their business. In our every day life I feel like we go above and beyond to be of assistance with watching other kids and we will continue to do it in the months to come. I would take in more kids if I had to for other essential service workers too. Yes, I understand that this does increase our risk of catching the virus seeing as we are having extra people in our home, but because of that risk we are not seeing my parents, my aunt and uncle, my sister and brother in law, etc. We have literally seen no one face to face except these 4 kids for the past 2 weeks and I plan to keep it that way. All of the parents involved here understand that if anyone gets sick that every day/week is up for discussion and that is what makes it easy for us to be as flexible as we can.

I'm sharing this not because I overly care if people agree with our choices or not, but because I do want to take photos of them over the next few weeks in our Adventures of Homeschooling and wanted to be able to share without people thinking we were just having them here for fun. I've had the photos below all week and wanted to share but didn't for fear of the questions I would be asked. I'm hoping that this will explain my position on it. I am okay if you judge me for my choices (although I do hope that you won't), but in my heart I know that I'm doing it for the right reasons, and to me that is all that matters in the end. 

Oooohhhh....let the fun begin! Next week we're going to spend our days together doing fun stuff like arts and crafts, outdoor walks and scavenger hunts, some math worksheets, reading practice, a science experiment or two, and lots of outdoor recess and lunch time too! Wish me luck because with this crew it could get very interesting! 

Today we did some coloring, tomorrow we break out the paints for some rock painting!

I love this girl. She's got a heart of gold and is the best helper ever. 

These two were adorable helping me paint the hearts on the door at the school

Yummy new favorite snack - strawberries and Nutella!

We just set up the Wii again in the basement and now I have to figure out what school subject that could relate to for those afternoon tea breaks I will want to take. PS: Kennedy's face is how I envision I will feel on some days! :) hahahaha

What are you telling your big kids about Covid-19?

We may be all smiles on tonight’s walk but let me tell you that on the inside I’m not smiling and I can sense from my big guy that he isn’t either. I know he’s worried about the corona virus and how serious it could get and he’s terrified his beloved Nana or Papa will get it, or Grandpa Barrows in Nanaimo, or Grandma and Grandpa in Mexico. I’m trying to keep it light and explain we need to do our part to isolate at home the best we can (while both Jim and I are still working outside the home as well too) and try to reassure him that we will be okay and as much as in my heart I truly hope that’s the case I’m also terrified it won’t be. 

So tell me, what are you telling your big kids, and little kids for that matter, about the coronavirus and the unprecedented times that we are in right now? 

It’s been a rough day

Some good, some bad, high stress, kids not listening and having bad attitudes, working at the office and at home, painting hearts at the school, hot bath, too lazy to cook dinner so got McDonald’s, late to bed for the kids, one kid barfed (guessing from the McD’s cause totally fine after). Just an all around pretty frigging BLAH day. Let’s hope for better tomorrow!

😡😡😡 Shit like this pisses me off to see. These tags are at Westview and I noticed them at VIU this morning too. Stupid little punk ass bored kids. 😡😡😡

Tonight he needed his little sister

We’re on night three of Kennedy sleeping in Jordie’s bottom bunk and tonight he was upset about a scary movie scene he had seen today and he didn’t want to go to bed. Or rather I should say he wanted to sleep in my bed, which I really didn’t want him to do. I suggested that he climb into bed with her not expecting he would actually do it. He insisted he would never fall asleep and he was too scared and he would probably just end up in my bed anyway. I said that was fine but I wanted him to at least try. That was almost two hours ago and this is what they look like now. I never heard a single peep from either of them. 

As I was leaving after tucking them in Kennedy said “mommy, you take our picture?”  I said I didn’t have my phone with me but I would when I went to bed. She’ll be happy in the morning...until then let’s see if they actually both end up staying in the bed or if one falls out or ends up in my bed with me after all! 

Pollen Sweaters newest model family!

We did something a bit different this year and instead of having people buy the kids gifts and us buying the kids gifts with money we got from family we splurged and bought them all pollen sweaters instead. If you don't know what these are then check out their website. They are very pricey but so worth it. They are warm, machine washable and easy to wear big so these should last the kids each at least 2-3 years. We purposely had the boys pick colors that KJ will be able to wear so that hopefully the biggest one will get through all 3 of them. 

Warning: if you are considering buying your kids these sweaters, know that Jordie is in a youth XL which is the biggest kid size (and last kid priced) one that you can get. Yes it is quite big on him (waist and sleeves are rolled up) and he could have gone smaller but we wanted to go as big as we could that it still looked good and he wasn't swimming in it. Kennedy's is the second size up I think so I think it's called like 3-4. And here's the kicker...James's is a women's extra small, which meant we had to pay full price for his (which was considerably more than we were expecting to pay but it's worth it!)

Mama splurged on a new one for me too! I have a beautiful pink one that I got when I was pregnant with Kennedy and I do absolutely LOVE it but this one fits more true to size and is a color that I don't usually wear! I'm still adjusting to it as I'm so used to the super big and baggy one that I've been wearing for 3 years!

We are all in love with our pollen sweaters and highly recommend them to everyone! In case you are wondering, we absolutely plan to do family photos in these sweaters too at some point :) 

I should have felt guilty but I didn’t

One night a couple of weeks ago I had been running all day long and didn’t have time for dinner when the kids ate so I finally sat down at 9 at night and this was what I ended up eating. It was honestly so yummy and 3 of my very favourite things!!  

These are my people

To say it's been a crazy two weeks would be one hell of an understatement! Ever since we got back from the Island from our weekend away it just seems like everything is so surreal with the massive change to our daily life. 

 I've got so many thoughts about the past 2 weeks and the coming weeks ahead of us. After tonight's post I'm hoping to go back to daily posting. I just got out of it and then it always seems strange to get back to it! So for now here are some pictures from a little more than 2 weeks ago, before anyone had really heard too much about Covid-19, social distancing, self-isolation, quarantine. 

My thoughts about all the interesting ways that 2020 has changed me already are coming up in future posts later this week! 

For now....here are my people!

I wish I was as cool as she is!

My little yoga buddy

Home "sick" for the day while his Dad was asleep upstairs after graveyard shift...I came home and this was his idea of lunch!

So apparently I don't take a lot of photos of Jimmy so here's one from the beach last night. Whew...my bangs look terrible in this photo! hahahaha

9 weeks and 22 classes later and I finally did it....

...I cancelled a class at Coast and didn’t go because I just wasn’t feeling up to it!!

I debated all day and for a wide variety of reasons I just didn’t want to do it (sore bruised knees from my fall on Friday, lingering head cold, exhaustion from a terrible sleep, lots on my mind, 5 loads of laundry to put away, my desire to make a home cooked meal and get my kids to bed on time....just to name a few). So because of all these reasons, I just didn’t go, and you know what, I’m okay with that. I did what was best for me, best for Jim and best for the kids and for those reasons alone I don’t feel guilty at all.

The best part was that even after all was said and done and kids were in bed and I was even more exhausted than I was at 4pm when I cancelled, I still put on a short restore yoga video on YouTube and spent a few quiet moments with and for me. It wasn’t long because I am actually still quite sore, but the important thing was that I did it!

I've fallen in love with a yoga pose from my Restore yoga class called Legs up the Wall! The first week I tried the class I was terrified and it hurt and my legs shook horribly. I had to adjust the pose (which I've learned over time is totally encouraged) to make it comfortable for me. I got over the shame I felt at that and was determined to get better at it. Last night after my short restore yoga YouTube video I moved my mat to the wall and spent 10 minutes just relaxing with my legs up in the air. I was comfortable and felt such a difference from just a month ago when I first tried the pose. I could see this being a nightly time out for me to just relax and stretch, and I'm looking forward to getting even better at it!

Close up view of my socks.....hahahaha!

This week is absolutely crazy leading up to our trip away for hockey and because of it my yoga will have to take a back seat. I'm still going to do my one coast class on Wednesday night and my one VIU class this morning, but other than that I just know I won't have the time to make it happen, and you know what....I'm gonna be okay with it and know that I’m still doing more than I’ve ever done in the past to make me a better me. I’m proud of myself and that’s all that truly matters. I know that next week is a new week and I will hopefully carve out an extra class or two!

OUCH...this was what my knees and shin looked like on Friday when I first fell. 

And yesterday I think is the worst it's gonna get but look pretty rough!

As I was writing this blog post and told my kids about the yoga pose they of course had to try it out too. Here's the kid cuteness that makes every blog post just that much better. 

More posts in 2020 than the last two years!

I'm on a roll and loving being back in the blogging world! This post will be my 51st this year, in both 2018 and 2019 I only managed to do 48 blogs for the whole year. And in 2017 I only managed 56. That 3rd child really did a number on my "free" time and energy levels!

So many memories not captured on here from those years, but not in my brain (and on my phone!). They are all there and maybe one year I'll at least manage to do up a yearly photo book for each year of my kids lives. What an awesome look back that will be...maybe when I retire?! hahahahaha

For now...here's a few photos of me and Jim from the Wunderbread Dance we went to on Saturday night!

Sunday Self-Reflections - Part 3

The concept of being enough and feeling like you are enough is a strange concept to grasp sometimes. For me it is closely tied with my self esteem and self confidence in every aspect of my life. I often struggle with feeling like I am not enough to everyone who wants/needs me. 

Some days I feel like I am rocking this crazy chaotic life that I've created for myself, and then other days I just feel like I'm failing everyone and everything. I know in my heart that that is far from the case and I would say that almost everyone around me would say that I haven't let them down and am always there when I'm needed. But, in saying that sometimes by always being there for others, I'm not there for myself in the most positive ways that I need to be. This is the new balance I'm trying desperately to reach by making and taking the time for me, without feeling the guilt that I should be doing something for someone else instead. It's asking for help when I need it and then not feeling guilty for asking for what I need. 

This meme spoke to me when I saw it on Pinterest and wanted to share my thoughts on it. I like these little reminders that I am always enough, and that my best on any given day is better than not trying at all. I get up every day and try. Sometimes I do awesome, and other days I just barely survive the day, but I still try. Trying is what is most important to me. And being reminded, even by a silly post like this, is enough for me to feel more positive about myself. It's a great reminder for everyone to see.