We returned home on Sunday afternoon to a message from Jim's brother Tom to call him. A few minutes later our world was changed forever with the terribly sad news that his the boy's mother, and James's wonderful loving grandma, had passed away sometime in the last day. It came as a huge shock to us as Tracy was only 55 years old and as far as we know she had been in good health. At this time we aren't sure exactly what happened, we just know that the sad reality is that she's gone.
Jim immediately started gathering some stuff to head to Nanaimo for the week to take care of her affairs. I know that this has got to be one of the hardest things he has ever had to deal with, and hopefully will have to deal with, in his whole life. He is such a strong man and I know that even though he may feel overwhelmed by it all, that he will do his whole family proud and take care of what he needs to in the wake of her untimely death.
Although Jim and Tracy had certainly had a troubled relationship over the years, things had drastically improved between them since James was born. She had lived a troubled life but had recently really made an effort to change her circumstances. Being a Grandma was very important to her and she was ready and willing to make sacrifices to do that in the best way that she could. Just a few short weeks ago she called Jim on a Sunday afternoon to proudly tell us that she had just recently passed her first 30 days of sober living. She had been attending AA and was proud of the life she was now living and had waited to tell us until she knew she had hit that first important milestone. Jim and I had never been more proud of her and we were both really looking forward to seeing these changes in person this coming weekend for our planned visit. I am saddened we won't get to see the new Tracy, but will also always remember that she had finally taken the steps we had hoped she would in the years before.
Tracy absolutely cherished James and was very much looking forward to being a Grandma again in May. Jim and I loved seeing her interact with James and when she would phone to talk to us you could always hear the love and joy in her voice when he called her by name and recognized who she was. When we would visit with her in Nanaimo she would actively play with James at the park or color pictures with him in the restaurant. She tried hard to be a good Grandma and Jim and I know it was a role she took very seriously.
As we move forward in the coming weeks and try to figure out a way to tell our not quite 3 year old that Grandma Tracy is gone, we will always have the memories of the hours she did get to spend with James in his almost 3 years of life. And luckily because I am a huge picture taker, there are certainly many photos to remember her by.
Here are some of the ones I could find of her from over the years.
Rest in Peace Tracy, we will miss you, remember you, and promise that our kids will always know who their Grandma Tracy was.
Jim & Tracy - 2005
Tracy with Grandpa, Auntie Bonnie and Uncle Russ - 2005
Our Wedding - August 2007
Tracy meets James for the first time - June 2010
Christmas time visit - December 2010
James's 1st Birthay Visit - April 2011
Breakfast with Grandma - Spring 2012
Fall visit - November 2012
James was playing on my iPod this morning and came across this video so I decided to update the blog post and include it as well because it is a video that we all love. Just now he was laughing his little head off watching it.
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