The question I KNOW many of you are thinking...

...how does Kim feel that baby turned out to be a boy instead of a girl?

Anyone who knows me well knows how much I really wanted to have a little girl, and I bet those people are some of those wondering how I am feeling that my Mommy intuition was wrong again, and I now have two SONS!

I certainly won't lie to you about one thing, when Jim said "It's another boy" in the delivery room I burst into tears and was definitely sad and overwhelmed...for all of the five minutes that it took for them to bring Jordan over to me on the operating table, where this incredible moment happened that I know I will NEVER forget.

When the nurse brought him to me he was absolutely wailing away, right until they put him up to me. I started talking to him and touching his cheek, and he instantly stopped crying and just peacefully laid beside me. I knew in that moment that I was truly in love with him and it really honestly and truly didn't matter that he was a boy instead of a girl. When James was born he felt so foreign and I didn't feel that immediate love and connection to him, but this time with Jordan because I know what loving a child is and what being a mother is, I can truly say I loved him from the second I laid eyes on him. He is perfect and awesome and ALL BOY...and I couldn't be happier!

Am I sad that I might never get to dress a little girl in frilly dresses and pinks and purples...maybe a little!
Am I sad that I might never have to deal with a crazy hormonal teen-aged daughter...absolutely NOT!

To be honest with everyone, I think I am at this point mourning the possibility that I may never get to have the grown adult mother/daughter relationship that I now share with my own Mom. I'm not saying I won't be close with my boys, but usually the bond between mothers and sons is very different than those shared between mothers and daughters, and I can admit that the possibility of that is sad to me.

Within hours of Jordan's birth the first person asked the inevitable we-knew-it-was-coming question...so, now do you think you'll have a 3rd child to try for a girl? What a crazy thing to ask someone just hours after welcoming a child! But, I get why they asked it, because I know the thought has certainly crossed my mind, and I can't say it would have already if he had been a she :o)  I do know though that there is no way we will have a third child just in hopes of having a girl, if we decide to have a third it will be because we really want 3 kids!!

For now, all I know is that I plan to enjoy my two boys and enjoy the newborn snuggles because for all I know this may in fact be the last time I have them in my own home. We may still have another child, but that's a discussion for a little bit down the road!