He would have been so proud of the man Jim has become

Whenever I see that post on FB that asks if there was one person that had died that you would like to sit on a bench with and talk to for just one more hour, who would it be, I know with total certainty that it would be Jim's Grandpa Doug.

My favorite picture of Jim and Grandpa

Jim and I's favorite picture of Grandpa. It hangs on our living room wall along with the old man fisherman knitted picture we got from Doris after he died.

I met Grandpa (and his wife Doris) when Jim and I first got together. I think they might have been the first family members I met and from the very first day I met them they made me feel like I mattered. They asked me about myself and my family and truly wanted to get to know me. Within a few months of meeting I would say we had a heck of a great bond. They came to our house for dinner and in turn we went to their house. Grandpa loved having us over, as long as we ate early and then chatted for a few minutes and were out the door by just after 6:30.

Celebrating Grandpa's Birthday the year after Jim and I got together

When Jim went away to work it was Grandpa I called at 6am to come and drive me to the ER when I was having a Crohn's attack. It was Grandpa who lent us his truck so we could go get groceries or have a date night. It was Grandpa who put himself through months of treatments in order to be at our wedding.

He had a fierce love for Jim and Tom and his other grandchildren but had a soft spot for Jim as his oldest grandchild. When things got tough when the boys were young Grandpa and Grandma Corey stepped in and took the boys for awhile and took care of them until their dad moved back to the island and they went to live with him. Through all of Jim's life Grandpa had just been there for him, and he was right up until he died. The year before our wedding Jim and I spent a quiet Christmas morning with Grandpa and Doris and have wonderful memories of that morning. It was my first Christmas day away from all of my family but being there with Grandpa and Doris was so much fun. The fact that we were able to celebrate his last Christmas with him means the world to both of us.

A few pictures from that Christmas

When Jim and I had only been together I think around a year or so Grandpa was diagnosed with cancer and at first we thought he wasn't going to take the treatment. And then we got engaged and planned our wedding for more than 18 months later. He knew he wanted to be there and he vowed to do what he had to be there, and that's exactly what he did. A few weeks before our wedding Jim called to check in with Grandpa and he had lost his voice due to the treatment and he wasn't sure if he would be able to do the sand ceremony reading as had been planned. We sadly started to make plans for someone else in the family to do it, but we both knew in our hearts that it wouldn't be the same if it wasn't him. Well, lucky for us a few days before the ceremony his voice returned and we were so proud and so happy to have him be a special part of our wedding day. He was tired of course but he was so so happy to be there and was proud to have made it to that day. He is a part of our wedding day that I truly cherish.

The beautiful Sand Ceremony that Grandpa did for us

We still have that folder that he made for us with our names on it!

And some of our favorite wedding pictures too

Less than a month after our wedding Jim was talking to Grandpa on the phone and he told him that he had decided to stop all treatments. That was in late August and Jim and I weren't surprised at all as he had made it clear that his goal was our wedding day and anything else after that was a bonus. We travelled to Nanaimo and stayed with Grandpa and Doris for Thanksgiving that year and less than a month later he was gone.

Jim's Uncle Russ called to tell us that he was entering palliative care and that he would call when it was time for us to come and say goodbye. When we got the call to go to Nanaimo a few days later we were both really sad to know it was almost the end. We walked into the hospital room and it seemed that maybe we were too late for him to know we were there. We went back to stay at their apartment that night just tired and so very sad. Doris called the next morning to say that the room was empty of other visitors and that he seemed to be more lucid than the day before. We rushed over there and for an hour or so we chatted with him and could tell he knew we were there. At one point he even grinned when Jim said something cheeky to him!

We sat with Doris all of that day as he drifted in and out of consciousness and wondered how we were going to say goodbye as we figured we'd have to leave before he passed away. We woke up two days later with heavy hearts knowing that today was the day that we had to say our goodbyes. Even writing about that day brings tears to my eyes and it was a moment that even though so incredibly sad made me fall even more in love with Jimmy than I already was.

In that last moment of saying goodbye to the man that he had admired and loved so much I saw Jim give Grandpa exactly what they both needed in that moment. Grandpa had always been one of Jim's strengths in his life and in that moment he was able to tell him exactly how he felt, which I know a lot of people can't say that they have been able to do. He told him he loved him, he thanked him for always being there, told him that we would always stay a part of Doris's life and we would look out for her, and that Grandma Corey was up there waiting for him. I truly don't know how he did it! When I tried to say goodbye I just gave him a hug and told him I loved him and then walked out of the room sobbing. I was amazed at Jim's strength and courage in knowing that he had to say goodbye and had to tell him those words that were so important to him. And I know to this day that he is proud of that moment.

I will never forget those final few days and the look on Jim's face when we walked out of that hospital room. My heart felt like it was breaking and it was the first time in my adult life that I had felt that much pain, both for myself and for the man that I loved. We arrived home on Monday evening, returned to work on Tuesday and in the early morning hours of Wednesday we got the call that Grandpa had died, just 1 day after we left. I'm okay that we weren't there at the very end, and I know that Jim is too.

Jim and I do still have a great relationship with Doris and never make a trip to Nanaimo without stopping to see her and Roger (her new partner). They both love the boys a ton and we think the absolute world of them both. They invite us into their home and feed us and let us take over their spare room for days at a time. Every time I think of our relationship with Doris I know that Grandpa is up there looking down at us and smiling because Jim is keeping his promise to him. We will continue to have a relationship with Doris because we adore her and we feel that even though Grandpa is gone that bond with her remains and always will be there. We have her in our lives because we love her, not because we feel we should. Most of Jim's other family members have lost touch with her over the past several years and that's sad to me. But we make it a priority in our life and in the lives of our boys because you can never go wrong with the love of an extra Grandma Doris and Grandpa Roger!

The point of this post was not to make people cry, although I've cried while writing it and I'm sure some will cry when reading it too. It's to say that I often watch Jim with our boys and just think to myself how damn proud his Grandpa would be if he was alive today. I know that he would have been thrilled at the births of his two great grandsons and would have been overjoyed watching Jim become the incredible father that he is today. He taught Jim how to love and how to show that love to others around him. He often told Jim he loved him and always gave him hugs when we saw him. When I think of James and Jordan growing up I wish that he could have seen them and the awesome little boys that they are today, and every day I wish that they could hug him, even just once.

Grandpa with Jim and Tom

This one gave Nana and Papa quite the scare

Jim and I were lucky enough to get away for a couples weekend trip to Whistler this past weekend and while we did have a great time, the trip was definitely dampened on Sunday night, as mentioned in my Whistler post yesterday.

Throughout the weekend I had been in contact with my mom and she mentioned on Sunday morning that Jordie had had a terrible night on Saturday. He hadn't slept well and had been running a fever and was really restless. She ended up sleeping with him in his bed so that they could each sleep even just a little bit. When I talked to him on Sunday I had almost no voice so didn't chat for long but he seemed okay to me. 

That evening we were in the Village watching the Fire and Ice show and I got some texts from my mom saying that Jordie had been quite lethargic that day and had napped from 11:30-1:30 but had fallen asleep at the dinner table (turns out after thinking about it later they think he actually fainted at the table because he fell straight forward onto his forehead and if he does fall asleep it's not ever like that!). Falling asleep at dinner was very strange to me as that's not normal for him at all...especially if he's had a nap. She said she had left Sunday dinner and taken him back upstairs to try to put him to bed. She said he wouldn't go so they sat down to snuggle and watch some Paw Patrol. James and Papa stayed downstairs to finish dinner and then came upstairs too. 

About 10 minutes later Mom said they were sitting in her chair and she looked down to see Jordie having a seizure in her arms. As you can imagine it breaks my heart to think of my little boy having a seizure but also to think of my poor Mama having to be the one holding him when it happened. I am thankful that he wasn't alone somewhere or with only James around as you can imagine how traumatizing that could have been for him. As a mother I wish I had been there to comfort him but from what I hear they can look like when it's happening, I am also really relieved to have not seen it. A doctor yesterday told me that I owe my parents big time because there is nothing quite as sad and scary as seeing a child having a seizure. 

Mom has told me that once the seizure started she just held him close and talked to him while Dad dialed 911. It took the ambulance 8.5 minutes to get to the house (which is a great response time considering the first car was out on another call). As the paramedics were arriving and Dad was putting Diesel in the bedroom he calmly told James that Jordie was sick and needed to go in the ambulance. I absolutely applaud their calmness because James was not in the least bit worried about what was happening and I doubt every day whether I would have been able to stay that calm in the face of that situation. Apparently all James wanted to do was ask the paramedics what all the stuff in the bag was. Thankfully he was so engrossed in Paw Patrol that he hadn't actually seen the seizure happening. When we talked to him that night all he told me was that he had wanted to go with Jordie in the ambulance to help him feel brave and to make sure that he was okay. Man, that kid has a total heart of gold and there is no one he loves more than his little brother. 

By some absolute fluke of nature (or maybe mother's ESP) I happened to call my parents house to check in literally as my mom was walking down the stairs to the ambulance. My dad had asked the paramedic to carry Jordie out as he didn't want mom carrying him down the stairs. I could hear strange voices and as soon as my dad heard my voice I could tell he was emotional. He told me after that when he heard the phone ring and saw my number he asked mom and she said it was up to him whether he answered or not. It took him till the last ring to answer and when I asked if everything was okay, I could hear his voice catch and then I heard the words that all mother's dread (especially when they are 7 hours and 2 ferries away from their babies) "no, honey, we're not alright....I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but we have to take Jordie to the hospital, he's had a seizure" followed by "he's okay, but I have to go and follow your mom to the hospital." He told me that James was okay and that he was going downstairs to ask Mowat to sit with him and that they would call me as soon as they had seen the doctor. I hung up and instantly started to tear up. Theresa walked out of the gift shop and I told her and said that I needed to tell Jim. Jim and the others were waiting to get food at a hot dog stand about 5 minutes away. I called his cell phone and they all rushed right over to where we were standing. 

I won't lie, when I saw Jimmy all I could think about were our precious boys at home and how sad I was that I wasn't there. We instantly started making plans to head home earlier and started walking towards the truck. I can honestly say that in that moment all I cared about what getting back to the condo and calling James. I was fine for a few minutes and then all of a sudden I just stopped walking and leaned into Jim and burst into tears. I knew there was absolutely nothing I could do for Jordie in that moment and I knew that he was in the best possible place with the best possible people, but James was another story. At the time I was terrified that he was sitting there scared and worried. I hadn't had a chance to ask Dad if James had seen the seizure and was very worried that if he had that he would be very upset by it. 

On our way to the truck I missed a FaceTime call from my mom's cell phone. Standing there in the rain in a parking lot Jim and I stood under a street lamp and called back and were more relieved than ever in our lives when our little Jordie boy's face popped onto the screen. His eyes were closed and he was clearly very drowsy, but he was alive and I could talk to him and could see for myself that he was okay. He woke up enough to say hi Mommy and Daddy and then he was out again. I literally felt my breath catching just being able to see him. Thank god for modern technology that we were afforded this luxury.

Mom said that the doctor took his temperature and it was around 104. Mom had been giving him Tylenol throughout the day but it hadn't been long enough to give him more and unfortunately she didn't have the thermometer to check his temp. She said she didn't think he felt that warm and I know she feels guilty which she shouldn't at all and I feel guilty that I forgot to leave the thermometer with her (and the boys care cards too!). It's just one of those things that happen sometimes and there is no one to blame at all. The doctor said that these kinds of febrile seizures are very common in young children with high fevers and that after the temp was under control that they could be on their way home with him but would need to wake him every 2 hours through the night to ensure the temp stayed away. 

We got back to the condo and immediately called James and were relieved again to hear that he was very calm and cool about what had happened and we realized that he really had no idea of what had happened to Jordie. He told us about the ambulance and paramedics and their bag of stuff and how he wanted to go with them so he could help Jordie be brave, but then in the next breath he told us about dinner and the huge piece of chocolate cake he ate. Then he asked Sean about the score of the Kings game from that day. He really had no idea of what Nana and Papa had gone through and again I couldn't be more grateful to my parents for keeping their calm in a situation where I know a lot of people (myself included) probably would have lost it!

Mom and Dad were on their way home from the hospital just over 2 hours after going there and when we talked to them again when they got home I could see Jordie snuggled up tight in Papa's arms and knew that he was truly alright. Mom had him sleep in her bed that night with her although I'm pretty sure she didn't sleep much at all. 

Here is the picture Mom sent me at 6:30 the next morning. He was awake and had no fever and was back to his chipper little self. She told us not to rush home.

We decided as a group to head home on an earlier ferry on Monday, but because my stomach issues had popped up on Sunday afternoon I really didn't want to head home super early in the morning so was relieved when we all wanted to catch the 1:20 ferry out of Vancouver instead of our original plan of the 3:20. It got us home in time for dinner and to get our boys to bed at home. They were originally going to stay at N&P's that night too but when we got home all I wanted was to hug them and keep them close to me! I swear I had never felt like a trip from the city took as long as that one did! It seemed like it would be forever before I would hug them again. 

We got home that night and again Jordie had a fever of 102 when we went to go to bed so he slept between me and Jim and we watched him closely. We've been home for 3 nights now and each of those nights he's had a fever of around 99-101 throughout the day and either 101 or 102 at nighttime. Last night was his first night in his own bed and yet I still didn't sleep well. Throughout the day he seems okay but definitely has a runny nose and a slight cough.

We went to the doctor yesterday and he is concerned about the ongoing fevers. He had a chest x-ray and an absolutely terrible blood draw done at the hospital. Truly, I have never heard my child scream like that. He kept yelling "that hurts, you're hurting me, I scared, it's scary"...absolutely broke my heart to watch him in that kind of pain and discomfort. I hope that's something I don't have to go through again anytime soon! But I will also say how proud he was to pee in a cup yesterday afternoon! :) Within an hour he was happily eating his Timbits and snuggled up with me watching Paw Patrol. 

Anyways, for now we are just keeping a close eye on him. I've been home all week with him because not only has he been sick, but I've been sick since Saturday too! We go back to see the doctor tomorrow and see if anything showed up on the tests we did yesterday. For now, he is a happy little guy and I am so very grateful that he is okay and that it was just one of those childhood things that happen. 

If anything, it shows everyone, that everything can literally change in an instant and to always be thankful for what you have in your life. Our friends were wonderful that night when it happened and were kind and thoughtful to my feelings and my constant talking about it. I was the most scared I've ever been that's for sure and if I couldn't be at home with my boys and my parents there was no one else I'd rather be with in that moment. 

Couples Whistler Getaway - Valentine's Day Weekend 2016

And we're off! Theresa bought a selfie stick and we had to try it out on the ferry. Was hard to get everyone in there but you can actually see all of us :)

We made it to Whistler and here's a few pictures of the condo we stayed at

Yes, we all shared one room! It was cozy but fun at the same time!

The kitchen was tiny but useable

Should have taken a picture before we piled our crap there...this table looked like this all weekend! 

Bathroom...with sauna on the left that you can't see

The boys starting the fire and checking out the stereo

SO NICE to have a wood burning fireplace in there. Made it feel so cozy and warm!

Kev had to turn on the Coor's Beer sign because he said it was great mood lighting

Nice face Kevin!

This one's better!

Trying on the awesome 80's pink and purple snowsuit. This brought us a good half hour of constant giggles and tons of photos!

Hahahahahaha....I have no idea why the hell Jim jumped on top of Sean but of course I had to take a picture of it! Jim claims it was consensual :)

Next up was Ash's turn

 

She DEFINITELY wore it best!

AND then Jim's turn

Let's just say he had a bit of a tough time getting the zipper done up!

BUT HE DID IT!

And he was quite proud of himself

He found a comb and thought he needed to primp

Yup, Ash definitely wore it best!

Saturday morning we headed into the village and started looking around. We parked near the rings and were all excited to take some pictures there. 

This was a full picture with the rings but Sean photobombed it and ruined it so I had to crop to us...which is fine because it's a good picture this way too!

My favorite of the 6 of us!

And this is how these 3 roll when I ask for a photo!

Finally....one good one!

Now we're into the shops and trying on hats

And making funny faces

Saturday afternoon we got all bundled up to go and do the tube park. This was a random photo that Sean took while I was clearly taking the following photos!

The other girls had cute hats, I borrowed Sean's hat that Grandma made him!

hahahahaha...we are such dorks!

Remember what I said about these 3....I love the shocked look on Kevin's face

And we got the selfie stick to work! This is a cute picture!

A true caught off guard smile from Ash

And my adorable hubby!

Just about to get in the truck to head up the mountain

At least we got the 3 girls in this one

And now we're waiting for the rest to get out of the truck

Just about ready to get our tubes and head up

This seemed like a super long walk the first time we did it! I'm glad I brought my waterproof camera so that I could get some great pictures and videos.

Waiting to go down the first run

Please keep in mind that 1) I was sick and had almost no voice left 2) it was my first run and it was way faster than I thought it would be and 3) I was clearly quite scared!

On what we thought was our last run of the day they finally let us go in groups...so of course we did a boys together and girls together!

Just one photo and 2 videos of the girls run

We got done that run and Kevin convinced us all to do just one last run as couples together

Off they go!

And a few of me and Jimmy!

We were done after probably 8 or 9 runs down the mountain and we took one more photo as we walked across the bridge back to the parking lot

Saturday night we got dressed up and went to an old junior high friend's house for a drink before supper. This is Jimmy and I just before we left the condo.

Then we went to the Garibaldi Lift Co for dinner and a few couple photos

By far the GLC was the best meal we had all weekend! Jim and Sean got the pulled pork flatbreads

I got the most yummy honey garlic chicken bites I have ever tasted

Kev's burger 

Theresa's lettuce wraps 

And Ash's fish tacos 

Jim looks funny with his mouth full of food but the rest of us look good!

The village is beautiful at night!

Saturday night we played some Cards Against Humanity but after a long day and a night without a lot of sleep on Friday none of us were really feeling it. And I was so sick and literally couldn't talk, I had to play the game by whispering.

But here is the proof that I did actually drink while we were away. However, it was paralyzers, which don't work so great when you have a cold and don't want to drink too much milk! 

On Sunday morning Ash and I sat on the couch in front of the fire and literally talked for 4 hours. It was exactly what I needed with how crappy I was feeling. 

While we sat and did nothing these 4 went back to the village to do the Peak 2 Peak gondola and I apologize to them if these pictures are out of order! Because I didn't go I have no idea what order you saw everything in!

 Some quiet time on Sunday afternoon before we headed back to the village for the fire and ice show

Ash was the hairdresser for the weekend. She did 3 different braids in my hair throughout the weekend and of course Jim was jealous so she had to do his hair too!

They went to Starbucks and surprisingly without asking how their names were spelled the lady actually spelled all 3 of their names perfectly!

One last picture of just me and Jimmy in front of the rings.

One of the theme's of the weekend was "where's Jim?" He seemed to just wander off and someone would ask where he was. We went into a bookstore and Kev found a book called Finding Jim and we all had a great laugh!

Here are some videos of the Fire and Ice Show because the pictures didn't really turn out that great!

One last group shot after the show before we headed out of the village to go back to the condo

I invited my friend Keith to come along too because the night before when we were at his place before supper I couldn't really chat and I wanted to catch up with him a bit.

One of just the two of us! When we were young teenagers we were best friends and then he moved to Vancouver just before we started Grade 10 and we kinda lost touch after high school. Good old FB though, he saw I was in Whistler and decided to get in touch to see if we could meet up. It was great catching up with him after so many years!

Unfortunately Sunday ended on a bit of a low note for us. Here is a blog post about what happened with our son Jordie. I wanted to explain why there were no more pictures after this one.

Overall we had a great trip with tons of fun and tons of laughter! It was the first time we've ever all been away together somewhere...and to have some time together as just couples was a real treat!