One week ago today this amazing, funny-as-hell, loving and caring lady took her last breath on this Earth and I couldn't have been more honored to have been welcomed to be there with her at the end.
Barb came into my life at the age of 10 and participated as an active co-parent, long after she and Wayne separated 17 years ago, and right up until she passed away. She never called me her step-daughter and would in fact get quite upset if any of us kids referred to each other as step-siblings. In her heart my brothers and I were hers just as much as her own three children were.
I loved her and she loved me, and I never once questioned that in my life. She loved me through the teenage years when I was flaky and totally boy crazy (and boy did she tease me and Mel for it!), through the hard years after her divorce from my dad, and the years we went between seeing each other. She celebrated our victories and shared in our heartbreaks and worries too. She traveled to PR for my wedding almost 11 years ago and did get to meet all 3 of my babies over the years.
My brothers and I were very fortunate to have her in our lives. She remained steadfast in her love for us no matter the circumstances. She helped us through some hard years where we struggled in our relationships with our dad and was always a listening ear when we needed her. I think the most special thing I can mention though about my Mom #2 (this was how she signed every single card to me ever) was the bond that she formed with my Mom #1 over the years. It was truly one that I believe all blended families should aspire to have. In the years since Barb & Wayne's divorce my mom and Barb have remained very close and I know my parents are mourning her loss right along with all of us. In the blog post I'm working on about her life and our relationship with her I will talk more about this special bond that my two mom's shared and how it is has impacted the lives of me and all 3 of my brothers.
I'm so sad for us that she's gone but so happy for her that she is no longer in pain and is at peace where she is. For the final year of her life she told us that she was ready to go when it was her time and I'm so glad that when that time came that it was relatively fast, painless and extremely peaceful. It was exactly how she had wanted it to go. She waited until all of her kids had been there to say goodbye and within hours of Joe arriving she took her last breath last Wednesday morning. I feel fortunate that I got some of her last lucid moments and even got some smiles, along with some cherished and mumbled "I love you's". I will always be so grateful that I made it there in time for her to recognize me and know I was there loving and supporting her through her final journey. Without the support of my mom and dad and Jim taking care of the kids while I was gone I never would have been able to be there. It takes a village to raise kids and a huge commitment from those around me to tell me to just go and be there. I know my mom wished she should could be there with us too, but also knew how much I needed her help with the kids in order for me to be free to go. I truly believe that Barb was grateful to her in the end as well.
RIP to my wonderful Mom #2. I will miss you and will always remember you.
