9 weeks and 22 classes later and I finally did it....

...I cancelled a class at Coast and didn’t go because I just wasn’t feeling up to it!!

I debated all day and for a wide variety of reasons I just didn’t want to do it (sore bruised knees from my fall on Friday, lingering head cold, exhaustion from a terrible sleep, lots on my mind, 5 loads of laundry to put away, my desire to make a home cooked meal and get my kids to bed on time....just to name a few). So because of all these reasons, I just didn’t go, and you know what, I’m okay with that. I did what was best for me, best for Jim and best for the kids and for those reasons alone I don’t feel guilty at all.

The best part was that even after all was said and done and kids were in bed and I was even more exhausted than I was at 4pm when I cancelled, I still put on a short restore yoga video on YouTube and spent a few quiet moments with and for me. It wasn’t long because I am actually still quite sore, but the important thing was that I did it!

I've fallen in love with a yoga pose from my Restore yoga class called Legs up the Wall! The first week I tried the class I was terrified and it hurt and my legs shook horribly. I had to adjust the pose (which I've learned over time is totally encouraged) to make it comfortable for me. I got over the shame I felt at that and was determined to get better at it. Last night after my short restore yoga YouTube video I moved my mat to the wall and spent 10 minutes just relaxing with my legs up in the air. I was comfortable and felt such a difference from just a month ago when I first tried the pose. I could see this being a nightly time out for me to just relax and stretch, and I'm looking forward to getting even better at it!

Close up view of my socks.....hahahaha!

This week is absolutely crazy leading up to our trip away for hockey and because of it my yoga will have to take a back seat. I'm still going to do my one coast class on Wednesday night and my one VIU class this morning, but other than that I just know I won't have the time to make it happen, and you know what....I'm gonna be okay with it and know that I’m still doing more than I’ve ever done in the past to make me a better me. I’m proud of myself and that’s all that truly matters. I know that next week is a new week and I will hopefully carve out an extra class or two!

OUCH...this was what my knees and shin looked like on Friday when I first fell. 

And yesterday I think is the worst it's gonna get but look pretty rough!

As I was writing this blog post and told my kids about the yoga pose they of course had to try it out too. Here's the kid cuteness that makes every blog post just that much better. 

Monday Motivation - The Week Ahead

In looking back through my January posts I saw this week ahead one I did the first week and I really liked it so I altered the questions I little bit and here is a new set of questions and my answers. I like this kind of post and am going to attempt to keep these ones up as I find them very thought provoking and interesting to go back and read later about how I was feeling in those moments.

1) One thing you are looking forward to this coming week - Hopefully having a super productive week filled with PAC and Strata catch-up, 4 yoga classes (fingers crossed for Friday waitlist!), organizing my ensuite bathroom and getting it back together after the toilet install 2 weeks ago, plus work, a bunch of extra kids before school, student led conferences night, school based team meeting with James's teacher, kids sports, and finishing off with volunteering at the Horizon Business Awards on Saturday night! It's gonna be busy as ever but I'm looking forward to it :) 

2) What are some things you are going to do for yourself - My 4 hours of yoga are my me time...and I'm so happy that I can make it work this week! With Jim being off work recovering from his surgery I'm certainly taking as many classes as I can. I know once he goes back to work in a few weeks my ability to attend classes is drastically going to decrease, but I'm still going to attempt to do at least 2-3 classes per week!

3) One accomplishment you are proud of from last week - The only thing I'm proud of from last week was just getting through the week! It was a tough one all around but as always I did it! Some weeks are harder than others but when I get to Sunday night I'm always proud of what I've accomplished.

4) Your intention for the week - Do what I can, and be okay with whatever does get done...and whatever doesn't get done will eventually get done too. Just work along at a good pace always trying to get stuff knocked off the to-do list and try to get two things done for every one thing added to the list. It's a great hope, but never practical in my crazy life :) 

5) What is the biggest obstacle to achieving your goals this week - Time and energy! I am trying to watch what I eat and just be more active and hoping that will bring me more energy. I'm also trying to sleep more at night and forcing myself to go to bed earlier so I don't trudge through my days exhausted. It seems to be helping and I'm feeling more motivated to reach my goals than I ever have been before.

I look at this picture and it brings me great peace so I'm sharing it here in this posst. It is one of my all time favorite photos I've ever taken during one of our awesome family camping weeks on Texada.

January goals and how I did with them!

This year I decided I was going to simplify my life and get more organized. That includes a major decluttering of my house, buying less, keeping less, needing less! I also splurged on a more expensive planner that I could carry with me, rather than relying on my family calendar at home, and my phone calendar. I was hesitant to buy it until the nice lady told me to split the cost over 365 (actually 366) and that was the daily cost of it. That made me feel much better and I already feel like I've gotten my money out of it.

This is the beautiful cover of it!

And this was the January divider page, which made me feel so hopeful as I wrote out my January goals when I got the planner in the second week of the month. I'm feeling motivated and hoping to stick with it with writing the monthly goals I set out.

For January here were my goals:

Blogs - as many as I can
Including this one, I've done a whopping 27 posts this month! That is more than half the amount of what I did all LAST YEAR. I am LOVING the new routines I've started with making this a priority again in my life. Even if just sharing small insignificant things like James wearing James is important to me and I know years down the road I'll love that I made the time to do it.

Yoga - 1-2 class per week
As of tonight at 8pm I will have done 11 yoga classes this month. Some might not feel like that is a lot but for a very busy mom of three who did ZERO physical activity before, that is absolutely far and above what I thought I would be able to accomplish. Throw in there a massive redo of our basement, hernia surgery for hubby, weekend trip away with KJ, day trip to the Island....a lot of external stuff that could have prevented me from going, but I made the effort, I booked the classes and I just went, even if I didn't feel like it. Moving forward my goal is 3 classes per week (1 at VIU for the next 8 weeks on Tuesday mornings, and then at least 2 at Coast), and 2-3 short 20 minute walks per week as well. I want to start small so it feels manageable and not overwhelming to me. I know myself and that's the best way for me to not get discouraged.

More games/quality time with the kids
I am trying hard at this one, but it was a busy month and I didn't get to do it as much as I would have liked to, but I did get some card games in with each of the boys and some puzzle building with Kennedy, plus of course nightly reading too. The biggest shift to the quality time has been bedtimes these days. Since the boys separated rooms it's been awesome to spend that extra few minutes with each of them every night asking about their day. We call it Happy/Crappy (thanks Foster girls for the name steal) and each day they tell me the best part and the worst part of the day. I lay with them and get some snuggles before I move on to the next child. It's turned into a much longer bedtime routine but one I'm really cherishing at the same time. As the boys get older and time marches on I realize how very important this time is with them and how even on the nights I don't feel like doing it, it's so worth it in the end to have that connection with them!

Less phone and iPad time
I'd call this one a success just by the fact that I have found the time to do all of the above three goals, in time that I would have normally before spent some of that on my phone and iPad. Plus the massive basement declutter and clean out that happened the first two-three weeks of the month too (photos coming after I finish putting it all back together again!)

Overall I am super proud of myself for my January goals and how well I did with them! My goals for February are maybe a bit loftier but still very valuable. I'll do a blog post about that at the end of next month. Coming up this weekend will be a January photo recap (which I'm also committed to doing this year after seeing the cool photo memory stuff I used to do before I got so busy). I miss that and am committed this year once again to save our family memories in a meaningful way.

Fave Photo Friday - My new love of yoga

This photo signifies a new found favorite place for me! This is the gorgeous art work on the wall in the yoga studio at Coast Fitness. Tonight in between my two classes I took a moment to snap this picture to remind myself of the peace that I feel as I sit quietly waiting for my class to begin

Yes, a selfie! I rarely take selfies but tonight I was in the mood so I snapped this happy picture of myself before heading into my first of two back to back yoga classes. In the short time I’ve been taking classes I’ve come to enjoy them and enjoy the peace I feel from knowing that I’ve made the time, just for me. It’s something I have wanted to do for years, but finally I’m ready to commit to it.

Snapped this picture of a sign last week at Coast. For the first time in my life I’m ready to start putting me first sometimes, even if it is inconvenient sometimes. I will end 2020 healthier than I started it. To me it’s not about my weight right now, it’s about my health and feeling better about myself and feeling like I am more than just a mom and wife. I am important too. 

Sunday Self-Reflection

 I attended my first Yoga Nidra workshop on Friday night and I felt like I really connected with it. The amazing instructor Kelly talked about sankalpa and what it means and how to live it in your life. It spoke to me as I’m trying hard to make some positive changes in my life and without making actual resolutions (as those never seem to work for me), I'm just trying to open myself up to trying harder than I have in previous years, at things that seem really hard for me (for a variety of bullshit reasons).

One of the biggest changes I'm hoping to make this year is just becoming more active, with both yoga and just simply moving more. Whether that's walking, or swimming or skating with the kids. Just doing more than sitting on my butt.

Last week was the start for me and I did 2 hot yoga classes, and then a friend mentioned she was doing the workshop so at the last minute I decided to join it too. I figured if Jim was home and was able to be with the kids then I'd take the chance and do it...and I'm so glad I did.

So my simple Sankalpa is just this - take more time for me. 

I have to realize that that comes in various different things, whether that's going upstairs to have a bath alone, go for a short walk around the block, or taking the hour to go and do the yoga class. I have to start realizing that I matter too and I am hoping once I get more familiar with being okay with not always being last then maybe the tides will shift for me in a lot of different areas of my life.